Carl D Kadie
1 year ago
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
also on 12/10/00
i'm really out of sorts lately. i know, i write that a lot, but i mean it this time. it's the first time all semester that i've wanted to leave campus but somehow been mentally incapable of it. there were a million things i wanted to do in the city yesterday, and a million of things i wanted to do today, none of which i did.
i'm trying to figure out how much of this is because i'm working through that book, and how much of this is because it's the end of the semester. i got in an argument with my housemate about the FRIDGE, for christ's sake. there's never any room in it and i never buy any groceries because i know they won't fit, and she says it's because i'm too lazy to clean it out. (except she insists that when she said "you" she didn't mean me. or some shit.) i say that i don't like throwing out other people's stuff, and maybe if everybody else would stop taking up all the shelf space, the two of us who have NOTHING in there could buy a bag of apples every once in a while...anyways...
i finally finished my semester project, almost. we don't really have finals days at my school, some of the classes I'm in have final papers or exams (usu. take-home exams) so there's really not a big push for studying for finals. however, during writing week we either have to take Comprehensive Exams or do a semester project. There are only two comps, the basic comp and the area comp. I've already basic comped, and don't have to area comp until next semester. So all I have to do this week is work on my project. We're supposed to spend forty hours working on our projects, though most students don't...they call it (writing week) "drinking week and writing day." But we're not allowed to work for the school or rewrite papers or anything this week, and I do my best to try to spend all forty hours on it.
One semester, I did an analysis of religion and mysticism by having students fill out surveys about whether they believe in god or faeries, and analyzing the results. My first semester, I did a zine about my experience at college. Last semester, I wrote a huge (thirty or so page) essay about my friend who passed away on mother's day, and my reaction to it, and my thoughts about how the school was handling it.
This semester I'm doing the newsletter, and I'm almost done. I have an intro page, 4 pages of places to go and things to do in this lame-ass town, three pages of things to do in Evanston and Chicago.
There are also articles about the electives in our school, and how there are more Humanities electives than Soc. and Nat Sci. ones. I interviewed the Dean and two students and we tried to figure out why. There's one on the selection process for RA's, tutors, editors, etc. and it calls for open application processes from the school as well as students not selected being told the reasons why, with quotes from a student chosen as an RA, one not chosen, and the person who chose.
There's an article on housing disputes and conflict resolution, interviewing two dissatisfied people, one RA and the Housing Director. There's a rumor control section, which was fun, I went around and verified all the rumors going around, mostly false. There's an article I wrote about the enviro group and what we've done all semester, which was originally printed in a copy of the school paper that didn't quite make it into everybody's mailbox (they're doing an awful job this semester). I also interviewed the computer lab director (my boss) abt. new developments, and all the banks in the area about their accounts. There's stuff I copied from off of the walls in the dorms, a piece on detoxing with herbs, an article on doublecasting for the play, and one on the controversy of the tutor system in the school. I worked really hard on it!!
So far two students have offered to do columns if I keep doing it next semester, so I'm planning on it...part of it is that our school paper rarely has articles about things going on...but partially it's because I'm pissed that I didn't get picked as editor for the school paper this semester (even though I wrote for it a lot)...and I just think it's good to have a paper not officially sanctioned by the school.I'm tired...and hoping I can get my ass out to Chicago tomorrow instead of sitting around and whining about wanting to go and not going.
posted at 12:49 AM
memories of Waukegan police
Sunday, December 10, 2000
i was walking to this downtown association in my city to get some information for my project, and i'm being watched by this cop car. the cop is trailing me. i can feel his eyes on me as he drives by really slowly.
it's freezing out, and my shoes have holes, and i am walking in snow (i've staggered off the sidewalk now) and my toes are cold. so i pull my heavy brown coat that i hide behind even tighter against my skin.
then i realize he's probably going to think i have something on me.
i go to the store, get my info, and walk out. he's still there, sitting in his cop car. watching me.
i start to walk home, and about thirty seconds later, i hear a "hey you!"
"hey you!"
i turn around, with my short hair, with my thick coat, with my hemp shoes with the holes in them, trying to see who is yelling at me.
sure enough, it's that cop.
now he's waving me over, trying to get me to come over. well, it's a cop, i guess i have to go.
"can i ask you a question?" he finally says, after staring me down some more.
"um, yeah..."
"how old are you?"
"21"
"oh, really?? you look like you're about fifteen!! ha ha!! ha ha ha!!"
"eh heh."
i'm remembering all the verbal boundary-setting skills i learned and not feeling able to use any of them.
i'm wishing it wasn't a cop so i could tell him to fuck off. but he's got a gun and i've got an arrest record.
i'm remembering the articles i read in slingshot when i was in high school.
i want to ask him if he's detaining me.
instead i say,
"can i go?"
he says yeah and i have to make an effort to walk, instead of running.
posted at 2:31 AM
i was walking to this downtown association in my city to get some information for my project, and i'm being watched by this cop car. the cop is trailing me. i can feel his eyes on me as he drives by really slowly.
it's freezing out, and my shoes have holes, and i am walking in snow (i've staggered off the sidewalk now) and my toes are cold. so i pull my heavy brown coat that i hide behind even tighter against my skin.
then i realize he's probably going to think i have something on me.
i go to the store, get my info, and walk out. he's still there, sitting in his cop car. watching me.
i start to walk home, and about thirty seconds later, i hear a "hey you!"
"hey you!"
i turn around, with my short hair, with my thick coat, with my hemp shoes with the holes in them, trying to see who is yelling at me.
sure enough, it's that cop.
now he's waving me over, trying to get me to come over. well, it's a cop, i guess i have to go.
"can i ask you a question?" he finally says, after staring me down some more.
"um, yeah..."
"how old are you?"
"21"
"oh, really?? you look like you're about fifteen!! ha ha!! ha ha ha!!"
"eh heh."
i'm remembering all the verbal boundary-setting skills i learned and not feeling able to use any of them.
i'm wishing it wasn't a cop so i could tell him to fuck off. but he's got a gun and i've got an arrest record.
i'm remembering the articles i read in slingshot when i was in high school.
i want to ask him if he's detaining me.
instead i say,
"can i go?"
he says yeah and i have to make an effort to walk, instead of running.
posted at 2:31 AM
Monday, November 12, 2007
just one more--Yael on Shakespeare
I think this was from my first year, too--I took Eileen's Shakespeare class for 2.5 credits.
I'm really glad, first off, that we get to actually perform this and run lines as opposed to just reading/studying + discussing it. Although the discussion certainly clears up a lot of things in terms of who said what, what it means and some of the historical details I don't always pick up on...there is something drastically different between reading a line to understand it and reading a line to act it out and put in your own interpretation.
Since Shakespeare is, indeed, dead*...we don't know exactly how he expected the characters to be and even if we did, the actors might have played it differently than he had written it.
*and they didn't have Camcorders back then
In any case, I think it's just so interesting to analyze the depth of a character by hearing and seeing different interpretations of it.
Midsummer Night's Dream is funny with its whole ethereal/dream-like/"it's all an illusion" bent. There are some very serious issues brought up but the contrast between those issues and the light-hearted tone of the faeries.
From watching scene 1.2 performed I learned a lot abt... there was a LOT of humor I missed. Quince's role took on new life because suddenly words like "a lover, who killed himself most gallant for love" took on new meaning.
Bottom's humor was also even MORE evident in his over-eagerness to play every part.
Natalie as Flute was very funny as well but I think that's because of the casting. :)
Snug and Quince's interaction brought on new meaning with the part "You may do it extempore b/c it is NOTHING BUT ROARING."
There wasn't a whole ton of humor that I could have picked on in Oberon and Titania's part. What I learned from it was just how dramatic the two really are, and not faerie-like, and powerful. Oberon's jealousy (and how he was not used to getting what he wanted) was apparent.
The part with Helena and Hermia I didn't learn too much from because I already analyzed it for English-Speaking-Union. What I did pick up on was...
(okay, I'm getting bored typing this so it must be more boring reading it so I will stop now)
I'm really glad, first off, that we get to actually perform this and run lines as opposed to just reading/studying + discussing it. Although the discussion certainly clears up a lot of things in terms of who said what, what it means and some of the historical details I don't always pick up on...there is something drastically different between reading a line to understand it and reading a line to act it out and put in your own interpretation.
Since Shakespeare is, indeed, dead*...we don't know exactly how he expected the characters to be and even if we did, the actors might have played it differently than he had written it.
*and they didn't have Camcorders back then
In any case, I think it's just so interesting to analyze the depth of a character by hearing and seeing different interpretations of it.
Midsummer Night's Dream is funny with its whole ethereal/dream-like/"it's all an illusion" bent. There are some very serious issues brought up but the contrast between those issues and the light-hearted tone of the faeries.
From watching scene 1.2 performed I learned a lot abt... there was a LOT of humor I missed. Quince's role took on new life because suddenly words like "a lover, who killed himself most gallant for love" took on new meaning.
Bottom's humor was also even MORE evident in his over-eagerness to play every part.
Natalie as Flute was very funny as well but I think that's because of the casting. :)
Snug and Quince's interaction brought on new meaning with the part "You may do it extempore b/c it is NOTHING BUT ROARING."
There wasn't a whole ton of humor that I could have picked on in Oberon and Titania's part. What I learned from it was just how dramatic the two really are, and not faerie-like, and powerful. Oberon's jealousy (and how he was not used to getting what he wanted) was apparent.
The part with Helena and Hermia I didn't learn too much from because I already analyzed it for English-Speaking-Union. What I did pick up on was...
(okay, I'm getting bored typing this so it must be more boring reading it so I will stop now)
my first year at Shimer--journal entries
I just found one of my old journals from Shimer and thought it'd be fun to post some excerpts. I had to xxxx out some names/events to protect the guilty. I left my typos, etc. intact. The () are added now.
August 29, 1998
Shimer is cooler than cool. It is also wacked. The ppl. are bold, imaginative, daring and somewhat crazy. After an annoying car trip - Eyal (my brother) ultimately stopping to help some womyn change their tires...when they were in a gas station and didn't need the help...meanwhile I'm running late and we left an hour later than I was supposed to - dad taking 1/2 hour to make some coffee, me waiting for mom who said the shower was hers at 7AM and I waited 'til 7:15 to ignore hr. We were supposed to leave @8, left @9.
Ran into the guy I thought was so cute...smoking a joint w/ a group of ppl. My "mentor" offered me some alcoholic beverage...I didn't think Shimer was a party school.
Met Brandi, finally...which was awes. The luncheon was great, wonderful food (vegetarian, too!) - a good speech by David Shiner on how nobody calls a textbook "great"-and cake. Met my roommate, who I really like. Walked outside on broken glass + got lost w/ her. Attempted to unpack. Met John + Rich, neo-beatniks, and Psyche and Luke. Got a CD from John, gave them (and Luke) stones, traipsed up and down the colorfully painted hallway... listened to Mom bitch in the car all day. Am having a blast and attempting to figure out... my confusion. I don't know how I feel abt. being here yet. The drugs and alcohol threw me off. I feel uncomfortable w/ them. I do indeed like the ppl. I've met so far though.
rt on North
left on Cory
~~~~~~~~
the 30th?
This is the real thing. ppl here have children, are married, have arrest records. the plato (euthyphro) sem. class rocked...I'm still thrown off by the pot/alcohol use but... went to a picnic by the lake. later on we all swam naked in the beach. there's a guy here named XXXXX, intuition man, who is really, really, cool. XXXX, XXXXX, (censored), XXXX, XXXX...everyone is really cool. went grocery shopping, did more unpacking, had some fun.
-------
31st
he said...it's bad to visualize to try to change the future. he said__ God, he said so many things so full of insight. really hit close to home. well i guess it's okay that luke is sleeping in my bunk with amy beside him my comforter on their lap. my blanket
and that i feel like a stranger in my own room + someone would do me the service of going in + telling them
*snip*
September 8th
school is interesting. am learning and questioning more than i ever fathomed. it's scary that ppl. understand me and what i say to the pt. that they argue abt. it so much I just have to TOTALLY change it.
went w/ jason stahl to get a drum the other day but he didn't like it and charlie came and drove my car and almost killed us 3 times.
he was mad that i said if it was womyn in lord of the flies they would've just braided each other's hair. (he said) it was sexist + wrong of me to say that.
it was also a joke.
being + nothingness. we can confuse ourselves here. i like it, it's challenging. only a bit frustrating. i keep forgetting he has a hard time talking to people. that maybe he's as nervous as i am.
9/13
I can't believe I'm about to go to church with the Dean. That's so weird. This school is crazy. I hear he did a lot of acid and had affairs with students but that he is married now + it's all good.
~~~
Well I went + it was really great. His wife came too. We sat, said nothing for an hour except one womyn who spoke abt how we were united in the Spirit and in silence and not distracted by the outside world/noise and it was so beautiful. I couldn't get my mind to shut up but the silence really helped. Then they introduced the Sunday school kids who explained what they did that day (the oldest group talked abt. which word they'd never utter and about what it means to be gay, etc.) They listed off a lot of activist stuff they did. I just really like Quakers, they've done so much w/ gay rights, womyn suffragists, native people, conscientious objectors to war, underground railroad, etc.
-----------------
It was cool reading this because just last Friday I was teaching my 8th graders about Quakers after we read a textbook story about Harriet Tubman...all these years later!!
I will look for more interesting excerpts...
August 29, 1998
Shimer is cooler than cool. It is also wacked. The ppl. are bold, imaginative, daring and somewhat crazy. After an annoying car trip - Eyal (my brother) ultimately stopping to help some womyn change their tires...when they were in a gas station and didn't need the help...meanwhile I'm running late and we left an hour later than I was supposed to - dad taking 1/2 hour to make some coffee, me waiting for mom who said the shower was hers at 7AM and I waited 'til 7:15 to ignore hr. We were supposed to leave @8, left @9.
Ran into the guy I thought was so cute...smoking a joint w/ a group of ppl. My "mentor" offered me some alcoholic beverage...I didn't think Shimer was a party school.
Met Brandi, finally...which was awes. The luncheon was great, wonderful food (vegetarian, too!) - a good speech by David Shiner on how nobody calls a textbook "great"-and cake. Met my roommate, who I really like. Walked outside on broken glass + got lost w/ her. Attempted to unpack. Met John + Rich, neo-beatniks, and Psyche and Luke. Got a CD from John, gave them (and Luke) stones, traipsed up and down the colorfully painted hallway... listened to Mom bitch in the car all day. Am having a blast and attempting to figure out... my confusion. I don't know how I feel abt. being here yet. The drugs and alcohol threw me off. I feel uncomfortable w/ them. I do indeed like the ppl. I've met so far though.
rt on North
left on Cory
~~~~~~~~
the 30th?
This is the real thing. ppl here have children, are married, have arrest records. the plato (euthyphro) sem. class rocked...I'm still thrown off by the pot/alcohol use but... went to a picnic by the lake. later on we all swam naked in the beach. there's a guy here named XXXXX, intuition man, who is really, really, cool. XXXX, XXXXX, (censored), XXXX, XXXX...everyone is really cool. went grocery shopping, did more unpacking, had some fun.
-------
31st
he said...it's bad to visualize to try to change the future. he said__ God, he said so many things so full of insight. really hit close to home. well i guess it's okay that luke is sleeping in my bunk with amy beside him my comforter on their lap. my blanket
and that i feel like a stranger in my own room + someone would do me the service of going in + telling them
*snip*
September 8th
school is interesting. am learning and questioning more than i ever fathomed. it's scary that ppl. understand me and what i say to the pt. that they argue abt. it so much I just have to TOTALLY change it.
went w/ jason stahl to get a drum the other day but he didn't like it and charlie came and drove my car and almost killed us 3 times.
he was mad that i said if it was womyn in lord of the flies they would've just braided each other's hair. (he said) it was sexist + wrong of me to say that.
it was also a joke.
being + nothingness. we can confuse ourselves here. i like it, it's challenging. only a bit frustrating. i keep forgetting he has a hard time talking to people. that maybe he's as nervous as i am.
9/13
I can't believe I'm about to go to church with the Dean. That's so weird. This school is crazy. I hear he did a lot of acid and had affairs with students but that he is married now + it's all good.
~~~
Well I went + it was really great. His wife came too. We sat, said nothing for an hour except one womyn who spoke abt how we were united in the Spirit and in silence and not distracted by the outside world/noise and it was so beautiful. I couldn't get my mind to shut up but the silence really helped. Then they introduced the Sunday school kids who explained what they did that day (the oldest group talked abt. which word they'd never utter and about what it means to be gay, etc.) They listed off a lot of activist stuff they did. I just really like Quakers, they've done so much w/ gay rights, womyn suffragists, native people, conscientious objectors to war, underground railroad, etc.
-----------------
It was cool reading this because just last Friday I was teaching my 8th graders about Quakers after we read a textbook story about Harriet Tubman...all these years later!!
I will look for more interesting excerpts...
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