memories of Waukegan police

Sunday, December 10, 2000

i was walking to this downtown association in my city to get some information for my project, and i'm being watched by this cop car. the cop is trailing me. i can feel his eyes on me as he drives by really slowly.

it's freezing out, and my shoes have holes, and i am walking in snow (i've staggered off the sidewalk now) and my toes are cold. so i pull my heavy brown coat that i hide behind even tighter against my skin.

then i realize he's probably going to think i have something on me.

i go to the store, get my info, and walk out. he's still there, sitting in his cop car. watching me.

i start to walk home, and about thirty seconds later, i hear a "hey you!"

"hey you!"

i turn around, with my short hair, with my thick coat, with my hemp shoes with the holes in them, trying to see who is yelling at me.

sure enough, it's that cop.

now he's waving me over, trying to get me to come over. well, it's a cop, i guess i have to go.

"can i ask you a question?" he finally says, after staring me down some more.
"um, yeah..."
"how old are you?"
"21"
"oh, really?? you look like you're about fifteen!! ha ha!! ha ha ha!!"
"eh heh."

i'm remembering all the verbal boundary-setting skills i learned and not feeling able to use any of them.
i'm wishing it wasn't a cop so i could tell him to fuck off. but he's got a gun and i've got an arrest record.
i'm remembering the articles i read in slingshot when i was in high school.
i want to ask him if he's detaining me.

instead i say,
"can i go?"

he says yeah and i have to make an effort to walk, instead of running.

posted at 2:31 AM